HALT: Pausing When You Are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired

Let’s talk about an action in our day-to-day experience that many of us are overlooking, an opportunity that would allow for our more heart-centered self to shine in our personal life and lead better within the workplace.

This opportunity is the power of pause, also known as HALT. I’m not talking about hitting the pause button on your music or podcast, I’m talking about pausing in real life when your emotions sky-rocket over a situation. HALT is an act that helps us regulate our emotions, especially when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired.

HALT

In her most recent book, “How We Live Is How We Die,” Buddist Pema Chödrön shares more around this idea of not reacting or making choices when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired – the acronym, HALT. She’s telling us not to make any decisions or immediate response when we find ourselves deep in reaction or feeling. In other words, pause. If you are anything like me, you are wondering, why? Why HALT when I am feeling my emotions? I want to express and own it! I want to release it! Why am I HALTing?

Picture yourself in a fierce storm, with howling wind and debris flying around. Naturally, you’d seek shelter to avoid the harsh elements, right? Just like you wouldn’t stand out in intense weather, it’s wise to avoid reacting immediately during emotional storms, instead HALTing until it has moved through you. When you’re overwhelmed by feelings like anger, guilt, or sadness, it’s beneficial to pause and let these emotions settle. This is the essence of HALT – recognizing when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, as these states can throw off your emotional balance and intensify your emotional response to what is going on around you.

This is the purposeful power of HALT. It helps prevent knee-jerk reactions that can lead to disconnection, impact your wellbeing, and diminish your self-efficacy. By pausing, you give yourself a chance to move beyond impulsiveness and make choices that align with your core values.

Reacting in the heat of the moment often doesn’t reflect our true selves. Pema Chödrön eloquently puts it, “You are the sky. Everything else—it’s just the weather.” Your emotions are transient, just passing clouds in your vast sky. By allowing them to pass and taking time to respond, you stay true to your heart-centered self instead of living in reactivity.

Reactivity

Ever had one of those moments when you react impulsively when heated, sad, resentful, betrayed, or annoyed? Only later you realize how overactive your response was and think “Man, I could’ve handled that differently”? That’s what we’re trying to avoid here. When you HALT, you gain agency for yourself. You’re not letting your emotions dictate your actions. Instead, you’re making space for a more thoughtful, authentic response.

This is important from a self-efficacy perspective because we are learning through science that emotional regulation is important for our well-being. In her book, “How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain,” Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett— a highly regarded psychologist and neuroscience— points out that recognizing our emotions is a key step toward managing them more effectively. Barrett links emotional regulation directly to enhanced wellbeing. Thus, the practice of pausing, or the HALT method, is a powerful strategy to manage our emotions effectively to live in a more thoughtful way. By taking the time to identify what we’re feeling versus being reactionary, we benefit our wellbeing by bolstering our self-efficacy, building resilience and confidence in the face of adverse emotions and situations. Practicing HALT is not only impactful in our personal life and our human agency to improve our wellbeing, it too is an opportunity to lead stronger, professionally.

Be A Leader in HALT

When you hit the pause button in emotional situations, you’re placing yourself in the driver seat. Instead of barreling ahead in anger or frustration, HALT allows you the time to let the more core feeling of the matter arrive. Maybe it’s not so much anger, but a sense of injustice or betrayal. This kind of emotional clarity allows you to respond more authentically to the situation at hand. Taking a moment to HALT before responding can provide the mental space needed for clear and intentional communication, shifting from impulsive reactions to thoughtful actions. This skill is invaluable in the workplace, fostering professional exchanges that prioritize productivity and cooperation. By practicing HALT, we demonstrate leadership in navigating the complexities of our innate human responses within a professional setting. We have all had a workday that met us while Hungry, Angry, Tired, or Lonely. The pause that the HALT method supports ensures we are not acting out in a professional setting when our personal life or underlying emotions are at play and interrupting our professional demeanor.

Pulling It Together

Next time you find yourself swayed by the winds of your emotions, remember to HALT. Ask yourself, “Am I Hungry, Angry, Tired, or Lonely?” Allow for the space to investigate. Once you identify what’s fueling your emotional response, continue to pause. Wait for it to calm, and then act from a place of grounded clarity. Your future self will thank you for it, and you’ll be making decisions that align much more closely with who you genuinely are, either in your personal relationships or within the dynamics of the workplace.

You reclaim your agency, your well-being, and your authentic self when you HALT.

Coaching is a great resource when building a self-awareness routine around the concept of HALT. Reach out for a coaching session, or a series, and together we can tailor a roadmap to integrating this strategy, specific to your daily life.